Homosexuality in IT

Homosexuality In IT: Not So Happy And Gay
(Published in Techgoss. Written under the pseudonym Anna Martin)
It is the most contemporary face of modern-day India. They are the ones who made Friday dressing an every day affair. They made strolling into business meetings in Jeans and t-shirts a fashion statement. They banished, `Yes sirs and No Sirs’ from the office lexicon and made addressing the CEO’s and CFO’s by the first names sound so hip and happening. They were the first ones who had gyms and swimming pools and mini golf courses in their campuses. They made double figure salaries a thing of yore and made megabucks even before you could say `Dollars’. They made the world sit up straight and look into the so called `third world country’ and realize that India was no longer `Third World’. They ARE the young Turks of business India. The IT set, as they are known in local parlance –the most modern face of contemporary India.
But how prevailing are they? I was in a mood to scratch the surface. What it’s like to be a homosexual in the IT sector in the country?
“Well, they don’t nail you to a cross or burn you on a stake for being a gay or lesbian,” says 33 year old Mahesh, who left one of the biggest and India’s foremost IT Company to become a consultant. Mahesh has been in a steady relationship in the last few years. Though he is openly gay he made a conscious decision to not wear his sexuality on his sleeve at the workplace - his office. “Corporate environment in general is geared towards marriage and kids,” says Mahesh. So, where does that leave the homosexuals and lesbians? “Well, we always gets the short end of the stick when it comes to insurance and travel benefits, other perks and office get-togethers,” says Mahesh. He feels being a gay does affect career prospects as one goes up the career ladder. But more about that later.
“In a company like Infosys, the wife of the employee gets to travel with the husband, she can spend the day at the guest house etc,” says an employee who didn’t want to be identified. “But our partners are not allowed any such benefits.”
Mahesh did question his old management about the ethics of it all. “I was told that the company would have no problems implementing the rules if there was a law supporting same sex marriage. That is the stance they take.” Infact Mahesh clearly stated in his exit interview that the way the company dealt with diversity issues “bothered” him. “I told them that they were not being proactive about it. I mean, they can start small by organizing company events where our partners are invited too.” Mahesh however insists that some of the IT companies are “doing a lot to stop the negativity that the homosexuals usually have to deal with in an office environment but they are just not doing anything positive.”
Kiran Kumar, who works with the second largest IT Company in the country says, “There is a reluctance to deal with homosexuality. The attitude is I have no problems with it but I don’t want to deal with it.” How conducive is the working environment for homosexuals in the IT sector? “Simply put, Overt offence –No; Covert Offence –yes,” says Vinay a Sr.Manager in yet another large IT firm in South India. “I remember, when I came out, some of my friends in the group felt extremely uncomfortable for sometime, one guy even blushed red. It did take some time for them to get used to the notion that I was gay. Women are open to the idea, though. I guess they feel safe. I don’t understand why the men should feel threatened anyway.”
“There will always be that odd snide remark. Sniggering looks etc,” says Kiran Kumar. “It is not aimed at any one particular person. In fact, my colleagues don’t know that I am gay so they are very open about their gay-bashing. They make statements like, oh these guys are so weird, so abnormal….they are actually spoiling our culture, blah, blah, blah….But I am sure the minute they come to know that I am gay they wouldn’t make such remarks in front of me. But I would become conscious of the fact that they are still thinking such thoughts in their minds. That’s one of the reasons why I still haven’t come out with my colleagues.”
Mahesh feels there is no need to wear your sexuality on your sleeve, “I have reached a stage in my career where people don’t ask me anything about my sexuality or why I am not married etc.” But he also says that one’s sexual orientation comes into play and it matters at senior managerial levels. “Since much of the social interactions happen outside it does become difficult for a gay man. For example I cannot have my boyfriend hang around with Nandan Nilekeni’s (CEO of Infosys) wife, whereas if I were married then my wife could have hung around with her. As you progress in the career ladder, you begin to feel uncomfortable. Your superiors sometimes tend to feel fatherly and begin to take a personal interest in you. And when you cannot fulfill certain social obligations that are required of a Senior Manager then that puts you at a disadvantage over other managers.”
Mahesh infact did have a manager who kept pestering him to get married. “`If you don’t people will think you are gay,’ he would say to me. Then he would add even if you are gay you should get married. It will help you get ahead in your career. He was a traditional person.” Finally, when Mahesh could bear it no more he informed the manager that he was gay. “After that there was less and less of social interaction with him. Career wise it is tough on some of us once we become managers. Our situation makes networking difficult. But if you are smart enough to obtain the title of `confirmed bachelors’ as some big honchos in the business have, then it is smooth sailing.”
Vinay feels that the problem lies in the fact that the companies don’t know how to deal with homosexuals. “IT companies have counselors to help their workforce. But even these counselors don’t know how to deal with homosexuality. The company doesn’t think of having a counselor who is trained to handle such situations.”
In his earlier office when Mahesh was going through some problems with his partner, his immediate boss was very understanding and encouraged him to see the office counselor. “She was a sweet lady and sensitive too, but she told me that she didn’t know how to deal with my problem.” That is some counseling.
To summarize Mahesh feels that gays can completely feel integrated into the system only when the companies take proactive action. “In the current situation there are two major pitfalls for a homosexual,” says Mahesh. “One, benefits of having a career in a big company gets affected if you are gay and secondly benefits of networking which helps in furthering your career get affected too.”
Large IT companies are in a position to make social changes and impact the society. Mahesh summarizes it succinctly, “IT companies can start by embracing and supporting diversity in a proactive manner.”
Techgoss note: Some names have been changed at the request of those interviewed.